Kissing In The Car

Fear, Fake News, and God's Word

When I was a kid, I heard the urban legend about a couple on a date and parked in a car out in the middle of nowhere. As they kiss in the car, they hear on the radio that an escaped killer with a hook for a hand is on the loose and in the very vicinity of where this young romantic couple happens to be at that moment. They hear scratching sounds coming from the back of the car around the trunk, then outside the back door, then the side door where the girl is sitting in the passenger seat. They eventually drive away, but when they get back home and exit the car, they find a hook hanging from the passenger side door handle. Ooo.

Photo: Unsplash

I’m not sure what this urban legend is supposed to teach us, other than the importance of auto insurance that covers scratches in the surface paint…or maybe that you shouldn’t park with your boyfriend/girlfriend in rural, unpopulated areas and plan on making out when there’s a murderer on the loose. Regardless, many have probably at least heard a version of this story at some point, and it’s stuck with us in one form or another because the story itself generates fear.

Victorious in Heaven

About 15 months ago, I posted about my wife’s friend Erin, who was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. A post was just made today from Lauren Wells, a close friend of Erin and her family, and I wanted to relay that post here. It’s beautifully written and will help you to specifically pray for Erin’s family:

Team Erin,

Our warrior is victorious in the loving arms of Jesus as of very early this morning. Erin is free of cancer, body restored, whole in heaven now. Steve was by her side. While the grief is overwhelming, there is a bit of solace in knowing she is no longer suffering. The past several days have been brutal and cruel, but her final moments were peaceful and surrounded with love.

Erin fought such a good fight. She ran the race set before her with more perseverance,  love, kindness, gratitude and bravery than I have ever witnessed before in my life. She told me just a few short weeks ago, “I have had such a good life. I got everything I ever wanted.” She believed in every fiber of her being that she already had victory, either way!

It feels terribly unfair that a woman with that kind of perspective only got 40 years on earth. Yet it’s exactly why her story has touched so many people so deeply. Her perspective on life and love is why her legacy will live on forever in us. I told her just 14 days ago, “You’ve changed so many lives. We are different because you shared your heart and your story with us. You have done such good and meaningful work.”

Now it’s our turn. May we each honor Erin and commit to carrying on the story of her life- not just the story of her cancer- but of her whole beautiful life and how she lived it tenaciously, with grace and compassion and an abiding faith in Jesus as her Savior that could not be swayed.

In the wake of her passing, the Selcher family is asking for privacy. Please respect the boundaries that are required to both protect the kids and for the family to hold each other close during this time. Do not stop by or walk in unannounced. The family has always had an open door policy, but for the time being, that is just not what they need.

Any family updates will be forthcoming here and details of services and ways to help the family will be posted as needed.

Waging Hope still,


You can help and digitally stay connected on Erin’s Caring Bridge site HERE.

Death is so awful. Even through my own tears as I type this right now, I praise God that death’s power has been destroyed because of Jesus Christ. He is our Living Hope. Erin knew that and now sees that face-to-face.

Eternal Beneficiaries

Sometimes it can be difficult to discern the difference between grace and mercy. They are often used within the same context when describing the glorious and kind attributes of God, but it’s important to understand their distinctiveness and how we benefit from each of them in different ways as Christians.

Photo: Jon Tyson

Grace is often defined as unmerited favor, meaning that it’s a gift, help, or support given to us that we don’t at all deserve. It’s an extension of benevolent kindness from God toward us by which we are able to receive the eternal blessings He lavishes it on us through no effort of our own. We cannot earn grace in any way. If we could, it would—by definition—cease to be grace. It is an undeserved proactive gift from God extended to us by which we are able to experience the riches of relationship with Him through no effort of our own.

Living Together and Marriage

What’s the point?

It’s a good question to ask when examining the validity of getting married today as opposed to just living together to “try things out” and see if you’re compatible before jumping into a life-long commitment…right? Isn’t living together just easier? Wouldn’t it be a good “test-drive” for both of us? Wouldn’t we have more collective money if we lived together instead of separately? Can’t cohabitation act as a good safety net for our relationship in case things don’t work out? Our sex life would improve if we moved in together, wouldn’t it?

In my newest book, What’s the Point?: Asking the Right Questions About Living Together and Marriage, I tackle questions like these and much more. It’s a resource about cohabitation and marriage that anyone can give away to those who are wrestling with the idea that marriage is anything more than a piece of paper, or read ourselves as Christians to be more prepared for those conversations. The intended audience is mainly for college students, but the subject obviously applies to a variety of others as well. There’s also a full gospel presentation within it that directly links to the subject at hand.

If you’re interested in picking up a copy, you can find it here: What’s The Point?

Remembering Big Break

Today would have been the first day of beach evangelism for all the students who came for week 1 of Cru’s Big Break conference.

This morning, they would have gone through their first session of evangelism training on how to listen well, ask good questions, care for people they talk with, and genuinely empathize with the struggles they encounter out there on the beach. Day 1, week 1 of a seven-day conference, repeated each week for four weeks total.

Big Break was utterly unique, and I had the honor of emceeing that conference for almost two decades.

What Must I Do?

I’m constantly in the bad habit of trying to control everything around me. As a typical American drenched in a Western mindset, I like to think that I’m in the driver’s seat, commanding the direction my life will go.

Photo: Erik Kroon, Unsplash

Naturally then, my inclination is make assumptions that my own actions are what determine my circumstances and ultimately, my destiny. Of course, when I write it out like this or follow that specific line of thought from beginning to end, it seems ridiculous to say that I would really live this way. Experientially, though, these are the sinful and arrogant day-to-day assumptions I consistently make about my life.

Action Figures

If you’re a comic book geek like me (which you probably aren’t), then you know that most action figures purchased by adults are not meant to see any action at all. They are meant to be purchased and then quickly stored away or put on display next to other pristine action figures that have never been removed from their protective see-through plastic tombs. Ahem, I may or may not be guilty of this very thing.

Photo: Nareeta Martin, Unsplash

But that attitude toward moveable pieces of plastic is all really silly when you think about it. Toys are meant to be played with and not just observed, right? So why do so many people insist on never taking action figures out of their packaging in order to experience them to the fullest? 

It’s Good to be Bad?

During our second pandemic lockdown in Pennsylvania, my daughters (9 and 7) heard from a few of their friends that Disney+ had a trilogy of movies originally released on the Disney Channel between 2015 to 2019 about the teenaged children of famous Disney villains. As a result, Descendants, Descendants 2, and Descendants 3 quickly became the favorite movie requests for my girls when they were allowed to have screen time.

Photo: Maria Teneva, Unsplash

And because I’m a dad who tolerates dreadful kid movies for the sake of my children, I’ve seen all three “films” and now regularly wake up with the ear worm soundtrack of the third movie playing in my head as soon as I open my eyes each morning.

The End of Our Present Suffering

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” (Romans 8:18)

“And behold, I am coming soon. Blessed is the one who keeps the words of the prophecy of this book.” (Revelation 22:7)

Photo: Unsplash

It’s easy to see that there is great agony in our world. Trials, difficult times, pain, and suffering are everywhere and, frankly, are altogether unavoidable. And when (not if) suffering rears its ugly head, you can wonder why God permits it, and if it will ever stop.

Mentoring Myself to Death

In many ways, you have control over what you want to have fed to you online. When you think about it, the internet is one giant digital buffet line you can pick and choose from to put on your plate and eat, depending on the mood you’re in at that particular moment. Other than advertisements here and there, nothing is digitally forced on you except what you have personally chosen.

Photo: Unsplash

And the same can be said about who we choose to spiritually influence and mentor us. If you’re trusting in yourself and choosing who you are going to on the internet as your primary source of spiritual input, you’re submitting only to the trustworthiness of yourself, and you don’t have to listen to anybody you don’t want to listen to. If the sermon on the podcast starts to make you feel uneasy, you stop it and find something else to tune in to. If the Bible study is too challenging, you can simply click away to a different one you’re capable of easily digesting.