When we look to culture to tell us how to have a relationship, we get beer commercials, tabloid postings, and reality TV that scream at us, “This is the right way to do it!” And most of the time, we buy it. We pick up a magazine at the grocery store checkout line and see the cover exclaim to us the way to get the most pleasure out of sex, so we purchase it. We religiously watch every episode of The Bachelor and see a man claim to be in love with the final woman contestant who made it to the end, when just yesterday he was making out in a hot tub with the other two finalists he didn’t pick. Celebrity couples marry, and they get divorced…and this feels like the norm. We think that relationships are all about us and what the other person can do for us, but Jesus taught something radically different.
But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. (Matthew 20:26b-28)
We are called not to be takers in a dating relationship, but givers. Servants who model ourselves after Christ Himself instead of the predominant opinion of modern culture, begging us to fulfill our own needs and desires. Jesus came not to be served but to serve, and this should be our primary goal as we look toward dating. Before sin entered the picture, humanity was designed to give, serve, and love. Jesus lived this out as the perfect example, and the cool thing is we can do that now…even in our modern American approach to dating.