The three enemies of a Christian (the world, our sinful nature, and Satan) are professional liars. That’s all they do is lie. The Bible even goes so far as to say that the Devil is the “father of lies,” and when he lies he is “speaking his native language” (John 8:44). There is no truth at all in anything our three enemies tell us about how to achieve a healthy sexual relationship, but the astounding thing is that nearly everyone on the planet has bought into those lies.
The Enemy would have you believe that getting married as a virgin is ridiculous because why would you “buy a car without test driving it first?” Why on earth would you walk into marriage without knowing what your partner is like in bed? You don’t really even know who they are if you’ve never had sex with them, right? “You need to have plenty of sexual experiences,” says the world, the sinful nature, and the Devil, “then and only then will you have a thriving, intimate relationship with your partner, because practice makes perfect.”
No doubt you’ve heard this perspective, witnessed it in someone close to you, or even bought into it yourself. It’s like auto insurance commercials: we are saturated by the message. And the ads along with the lies just keep on coming.
But when a bond is made via a sexual experience, it is not something that can be easily removed. Engaging in a sexual act with another person is meant to exist within a committed marriage relationship, and without that proper context, lives can quickly be destroyed.
The world’s perspective would have you believe that sex is just a thing that happens between two people for the purpose of experiencing selfish pleasure. Even the phrase, “get some” is intrinsically self-serving. This perspective kind of treats the act of sex like the random placement of a sticky note to any person you want to “get some” from. Stick to someone here, then peel away. If you like that person, stick to them for a bit, then peel away. Stick to the hot person you met at the bar, then peel away in the morning. Stick to the person you’ve had a crush on, then peel away. “Be a sticky note!”
But the catch is, sex was never created to be a temporary thing. It’s a God-designed bond between a man and woman in a loving, committed marriage that’s intended to build a stronger relationship over time. Sex is not like a sticky note…it’s more like an envelope. I know I’m talking a lot about paper here, but stay with me.
When a sexual attachment is made between two people, it’s like an envelope flap being sealed at the opening for the purpose of creating a secure bond. And we all know what happens when an envelope is opened, right? There is permanent damage done when the ripping apart starts. Have you ever tried to use an envelope again after it’s been sealed and then opened? It’s kind of pointless to try, isn’t it? Why? Because it was meant to be attached only one time.
The sinful perspective would have you believe that sex should be treated as if everyone in the world is a sticky note, but what happens to a sticky note if you stick it on too many things? It eventually loses its stickiness, doesn’t it? Sex is not a sticky note-type scenario…it’s more like an envelope, meant to be attached only once, without being pulled apart and causing irreparable damage. This is God’s will for us and for sex…
It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God…For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit. (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, 7-8)
God is brilliant. He has intentionally set things up in order to give us the maximum sexual experience possible, so the less that you do now, the more you end up investing into your future. Yes, godly sexual investing takes an extreme amount of patience, but man, it pays off!
Additional Note: It was brought to my attention that this post may have unintentionally implied that if someone has compromised sexually that they are now “damaged goods” and irreparably flawed. I did not mean at all to imply that. Blog posts are intended to be short little snippets of greater avenues of thought, and such was the case with this.
I believe wholeheartedly that God can repair, renew, and forgive—making someone new if they are following Him and seeking His holy will for their life. My intention with this post was to act as a guide/warning to those who want to follow Jesus and lead God-glorifying lives as they come face-to-face with the realities of our enemies (the world, the flesh, the Devil). My intention was NOT to make anyone feel as if they are beyond repair because of past sexual compromise. I hope you understand my heart. Thanks for the help to everyone who wrote in!
Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.