When we talk about romantic relationships today, there is now an added wrinkle in the conversation that comes with the onset of internet dating. This is a variable that simply didn’t exist for much of the time when I was single. We are just beginning to understand how this can be done in a healthy way, and how the Lord can work in the process. It brings into question the balance between our diligence and God’s sovereignty in a rather important way, similar to the way birth control did when it arrived on the scene.
How much responsibility do we have in this dating world, and how much responsibility belongs to God? Birth control brought this issue to the forefront by offering people control over when/if they wanted to conceive children. Many followers of Christ were (and still are) very much against it, and another large section of the Christian community embraces it.
Similarly (in principle), online dating opens up a world of possibilities that weren’t an option before the internet. It used to be that if you didn’t meet a spouse in your natural circle of friends and family, you might begin to think that perhaps the Lord was calling you to a life of singleness. Now, however, if the tiny “pond” you’re fishing in hasn’t yielded any nibbles on the line, you can simply start fishing in the vast “dot com ocean.” Can this be a good thing? Sure! Online dating has been responsible for a lot of great and godly marriages.
But while it provides a variety of options, with great power comes great responsibility (Spiderman can tell you that). As with any good thing, an added tension drifts onto the scene when we have the opportunity to take matters into our own hands—it becomes easy to lose sight of God’s plan for our lives. Yes, there are so many wonderful things about online dating and the possibility of finding the love of your life, but we must be careful to hold that power with revered faithfulness toward Jesus. It’s possible He wants you to connect with someone online, start dating, get engaged, get married, have 3.7 kids, and buy a dog…but He might also want you to be single. Just because you can take matters into your own hands doesn’t necessarily mean that you should take matters into your own hands.
If things aren’t moving quickly enough for you, be careful not to enter into a state of relationship panic and sign up for SingleMingle.com or HisPerfectSpouseForMeRightNow.com (those aren’t real websites). Singleness is an opportunity to prayerfully consider what the Lord might have for you if you decide to engage with an online dating profile. Take your desires to the Lord and ask Him for direction and clarity in what to pursue and not pursue when dating via technology. Don’t do it simply because your personal connections with the people around you in your own pond have floundered (pun intended). Do it because you believe God is intentionally calling you to broaden your search by dating online. Food for thought as we wrestle with the complexities of singleness in the technological age.
Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.