I talk a lot about dating here on this site, but this time I’d like to take a moment and talk only to the men in relation to dating. Guys: Have face-to-face conversations with women you are interested in.
First, if your idea of asking a girl out is typing a text message to her that says, Hey, wanna hang out sometime this weekend?, you need to rethink your strategy. I have talked to many women who have said they wished that a guy would have enough guts to talk with her face-to-face, have a plan about what he’d like to do during an evening of encouragement, and ask her to join him.
Instead, women commonly get a series of lazy text messages from guys who passively hint at the idea they’d like to hang out, saying “maybe you should join me,” and the ladies are sick of it. Have a plan, have some guts, and talk to the girl eye-to-eye.
Second, if you go to pick up a girl where she lives, don’t pull into the driveway or parking lot and send her a text message that says, “Here.” Park the car, get out of the car, have the courtesy to physically walk up to her door, ring the door bell, meet her roommates or parents, usher her back to your car, open her door for her, and be a gentleman. How cowardly is it of a dude when he won’t even get out of the car to meet a woman’s friends or family? You’re not going to win any points with the people closest to the heart of your date if you hide in your car behind your phone, trust me.
Be a man and step into the social anxiety of meeting people you may not be initially comfortable with. It shows respect for her friends/family, and it communicates you care about every part of her life. When the day comes that my daughters start to date (God help me), if the boy she wants to go out with doesn’t have the decency to walk to my door, shake my hand, and engage in a little chitchat with me about the weather, the NFL, and Fast and Furious 12 (by then) before he takes her out, guess what? He doesn’t get to take my daughter out. It’s as simple as that.
The girl you might like is already loved by a lot of people in her life, so take the time to meet those people and communicate that you intend to build that girl up, not remain a mystery. Mysterious boys might be appealing to some girls, but let me tell you, I am not impressed. I want my daughters to date boys who live with integrity in the light, not boys who might use her and hide in the shadows behind the privacy of their phones.
And last, I’m not an idiot. I get the way the world works today. I know that a majority of flirting and conversation happens digitally between single people. You might be asking, “Who in the world asks a girl out face-to-face these days? WHO DOES THAT?”
And my answer is, “Ideally, you.”
Instead of succumbing to the social norms of passive, digital relational interaction, set a different kind of standard of caring for a woman by actually communicating with her personally! Not only will you stand out as a man among boys, it will also communicate care, respect, and character in a world that devalues these admirable things in men. This is the kind of guy I would trust with my daughters.
Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.